Answers To Common Excuses For Not Using Condoms

Many women find it difficult responding to the many excuses their male partners give them when asked to wear protection. Therefore, I hereby present, “Answers To Your Partner’s Excuses For Not Using Condoms”. In a recent poll, less than half of men stated they use condoms every time they have sex. These answers cover many situations that your partner may bring up before intercourse. For instance…

GUY: Don’t you trust me?

GIRL: Trust has nothing to do with it, I actually prefer making love to dildos. And that’s basically all you will be, a breathing dildo.

GUY: It does not feel as good with a condom.

GIRL: I’ll feel more relaxed, If I am more relaxed, I can pretend to enjoy it.

GUY: I don’t stay hard when I put on a condom.

GIRL: Erectile dysfunction has nothing to do with my vagina.

GUY: I can’t feel a thing when I wear a condom.

GIRL: Maybe that way you’ll last even longer and you won’t be such a loser.

GUY: I don’t have a condom with me.

GIRL: That’s ok. I have a Ziploc baggie from the weed we just smoked. That will work just fine.

GUY: It’s up to me. It’s my decision.

GIRL: Yup, it’s your penis. If you want it to fall off, that’s your right.

GUY: You’re on the pill, I don’t need a condom.

GIRL: I’d like to use it anyway. It will help to protect us from spreading the infections we may have received from those transsexual prostitutes we had group sex with.

GUY: It just isn’t as sensitive and I can’t feel a thing.

GIRL: Small penises don’t have many nerves. It’s not your fault.

GUY: Putting it on interrupts everything.

GIRL: Not if my mom helps us.

GUY: I guess you don’t really love me.

GIRL: Of course I don’t, but this isn’t even about love, is it?

GUY: I will pull out in time.

GIRL: Women can get pregnant and get STDs from pre-ejaculate. Trust me, I’ve been down that road before.

GUY: But I love you.

GIRL: Then just put that f***ing condom on and f**k me already honey.

GUY: Just this once, but not again.

GIRL: Then I guess you’ll be masturbating for a while.