Kim Jong IL Ill After Massive Fish Sandwich

(satire) North Korea’s supreme leader is reported to be ill as of late and is said to be blaming McRonald’s for his present state of health.

poopooface Insiders, who refused to be named upon pain of death, have said that Jong IL ate at the newly renovated McRonalds in Freedom Square. He is reported to have eaten the new North Korean version of the Big Mak called the Fish Stack.
Basically, its two small live fish, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun.

Jong IL is claiming that the live fish tried to eat their way out of his stomach after he consumed them. He is now threatening to launch missiles at each and every McRonalds restaurant on the planet.

Experts say that this threat is beyond ridiculous, is in fact ludicrous but owner/operators of independent McRonald’s restaurants worldwide are taking action to prevent any such incursions into their respective zones. Several McRo’s in California have used this threat as an excuse to suspend all drive thru services forcing all their patrons to park their cars and risk being mugged or caught in a drive by shooting just to experience the artery-clogging bliss that is the Big MaK.

As of the publishing time of this article, all McRo restaurants remain open for business with the exception of the one in Beaver Lick, Arkansas. When contacted for a quote, the manager, one Clem “Spit Shine” Cyrus (no relation to Miley), had this to say. “You cain’t doggone trust them that there Noarth Koereeans with nothin. If’in that there IL fella says he’s a gonna nuke a McRonald’s restaurant causin he had some bad fish, well, I’m a gonna be beleivin him causin he be crazy as a catfish that done got himself hooked up ’round the gills to a hitched up skirt post somewhere north of that other south place, if’in you know what I mean.”

No, Clem, I don’t know what you mean but I guess we all get the sentiment behind it, anyways.

This, like many great things in life, is mostly a lie. I’m sorry to disappoint you.

About Todd Barselow a.k.a. PutiPato

Todd Barselow a.k.a. PutiPato resides in Las Pinas City, Metro Manila, Philppines and Atlantic Beach, N.C. Writer and reader of many different and widely regarded offhand subjects, PutiPato enjoys the pursuit of happiness through mediums other people find intimidating and downright scary. He once was assaulted in Tokyo, Japan by a man wearing a monkey suit that had testicles, hanging in the appropriate place, which he removed and tossed across the bar much to the delight of the gathered onlookers. This earned PutiPato much fame in Tokyo, with offers still pouring in everyday to do public speaking engagements and demonstrations of testicle tossing. He is happily engaged and looking forward to having children so that he can warp them like he was warped as a child. He can be reached at putipatoenterprises@yahoo.com .

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