SCHOOLED!

We were heading west very quickly when suddenly the road became very rough. I remember thinking ‘damn, this road is going to shake my car completely apart.’ It continued to get worse, but the road didn’t look like it was getting worse so I pulled over, and found a nice flat tire.

by Rob Shenk

The wheel was rusted on, which made removing it almost impossible, and we didn’t have cell phone reception. Long story short we got the fucking donut on the car, and made our jobs for the day. The real fun didn’t start until I was off work and headed up to the tire shop for a new tire.

First, it took them forever. My car sat in the parking lot for 45 minutes until I went and talked to the manager about it. ‘You said it would be 30 minutes, and its been 45 minutes. I just wanted to get an update on how long it is going to be.’

Second, they couldn’t charge my credit card because even though my name is on the card, since I share the card with my mom, she had to approve the payment. That took forever, and even though the manager started talking about letting me steal the tire since it was already on my car, I finally paid for that shit.

Rough days usually come in waves and then I get a break, so I figured I had paid my dues for the week. I went home and crashed out, ready to wake up early in the morning and take care of my schooling stuff.

I arrive at the Student Service Center and sign in at the financial aid computer. It is about 10 minutes before I am called up to the counter.

“Hi. I have a defaulted student loan, and you guys said I needed to get some paper work before my aid could be processed.” I told him.

“Actually yes, but we need to set up an appointment. I also noticed a few other things on your account. First, your FASFA needs to be completed.” he said.

“Wait, what? I was here about two weeks ago and we were discussing the information on my FASFA.” I said, a little alarmed.

“Oh, well, we also need you to fill out this form with all your tax information and bring your return.” he said.

“Also, your grades are not high enough to qualify for aid. You are going to need to take a semester to bring your grades up high enough to qualify. I suggest taking a few summer classes. Also, they must be from [our school] because we do not transfer those in.” he said.

“Oh, that sucks.” I said.

And that is how I got Schooled by a School. They gave me a so sorry, but because you are a bad student, we are going to have to tax you. So plan B, big playa money hustle.