After months of silence the planet (or semi planet as some believe) Pluto has finally made a public statement that is shocking astronomers everywhere. Once believed to be impartial, the small space rock is suing in the court case of the century. For damages to it’s reputation Pluto is asking for $10 million dollars, and a guaranteed exploration mission via unnamed spacecraft to rebuild its image.
Pluto’s attorneys spoke at a press release this morning.
“No one even asked my client what it thought about the whole situation.” Head attorney Mike said. “All we are looking for it a voice in the matter, and for the truth to be told. It is a great responsibility to be a planet, and we just want the respect deserving of such a great planet.”
Opposition to the planets claim that the planet is just upset, and displaying the angry little dog syndrome. Most expect the case to be thrown out, and are calling the claims rediculous.
“I know it isn’t easy to accept being downgraded. Being a planet comes with many benefits, and losing those benefits would be hard on anyone.” Planet specialist Reba said. “But the facts are hard to look past in this case, and we have to be fair to the other planets who have spent billions of years building up their size and orbits. Pluto has enjoyed these benefit unfairly for a long time, and has thrown the rules out the window with its crazy orbit.”
During the case attorneys plan on using evidence like moons and previous works that state Pluto as a planet.
“So it has moons, and we have been calling it a planet for many years. It is just unfair to take that title and flush it down the toilet after Pluto has enjoyed it for so long.” Attorney Mike said. “Plus, this could cause some major issues for us here on Earth. What if the planet decided that since it wasn’t a planet, it didn’t need its moons anymore, and sent them hurling straight for earth? Not only is this just a planet issue, but it has a profound effect on us humans as well.”
The first court session is planned for sometime this week.
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