Satire

Help I Can’t Stop Eating Emergency Necklace Introduced

Help I Can’t Stop Eating Emergency Necklace Introduced

From the people who brought you the call for help button when you fall over and can’t get back up comes the “Help I Can’t Stop Eating” emergency necklace. If you find yourself in a situation... 

Human Unemployment is Nothing Compared to that of Helper Dogs

Human Unemployment is Nothing Compared to that of Helper Dogs

These are the words of my dog Uzzle, which I take credit for since I own him. Look humans; you may think that you have it tough. Sure, you may have sent out hundreds of resumes and heard nothing back except... 

Farting New Laugh of Some Cultures Study Finds

Farting New Laugh of Some Cultures Study Finds

According to a recent study done by the Languages of the World Department at RLCUA farting has become the new laugh of countries with poor diets. The study found that cultures with high fat, high fart... 

End of Rainbow Gold Down 10% As Speculators Question It’s Existence

End of Rainbow Gold Down 10% As Speculators Question It’s Existence

Shares in the End of the Rainbow Gold llc. (ERGD) fell 10% as institutional holders sold off their positions on reports that the end of the rainbow is ‘like impossible to get to man.’ Analysts... 

Experience Wins Best Teacher, Arrested for Killing All Students

Experience Wins Best Teacher, Arrested for Killing All Students

For many years people have been talking about experience, and how ultimately it is the best teacher of them all. But under this reputation for education, is a dark and killer secret. Experience also kills... 

Pirates “Booty” Mixup Delays Boat Rescue

Pirates “Booty” Mixup Delays Boat Rescue

During recent negotiations with Arctic Sea pirates in a attempt to get a lumber ship back, a slight mix up in demands caused the wrong ransom to be delivered. The negotiator heard the pirates demand a... 

New Feminine Option Raising Eyebrows

New Feminine Option Raising Eyebrows

A new option for woman on their periods is raising eyebrows all over the nation. World wide sex toy maker, Vibe Fantasies Inc. is releasing a vibrating tampon applicator in late 2007 that is sure to offer... 

San Antonio Initiates Controversial Teenager Spay/Neuter Program

San Antonio Initiates Controversial Teenager Spay/Neuter Program

San Antonio Public Health Director Adrian Rodriguez is sick of seeing so many neglected babies in the San Antonio area. Rodriguez says this is due to the teen pregnancy epidemic that has gripped San Antonio... 

Rock Throwing Proves Tiresome for Palestinians

Rock Throwing Proves Tiresome for Palestinians

In the Palestinian areas of the Middle East, as the tensions rise, so does the weight of the rocks. As the fighting rages on, some middle eastern residents are simply becoming exhausted from centuries... 

FDA Approves Morning Before Pill

FDA Approves Morning Before Pill

Las Vegas – Federal health officials decided on Wednesday to approve the “morning before pill,” a controversial new form of birth control for over the counter sales. The new pill, known...